Power in Client Relationships
Some time ago, a good friend of mine asked me to facilitate a ‘strategy retreat’ for the board of directors of a small volunteer-run nonprofit. After a couple of meetings to better understand the context and the need, I agreed to design and deliver two workshops pro bono.
I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I felt released, liberated. I didn’t have to write a proposal. I didn’t have to figure out how to price the work, haggle over every element and justify its relevance. Most importantly, I didn’t have to design, a priori, the whole thing (how many sessions, how many hours, agendas, etc.). I felt that I could do this in an emergent way, co-create with the client on equal terms, instead of getting entangled in the typical vendor-client relationship where the vendor designs and executes the work and the client passively receives it.
As I started engaging with the nonprofit board, I sensed certain reticence and deference: “it’s all entirely up to you; we do what you tell us to do”. And as much as I nudged them to partake in the process, it didn’t work. Yes, logistics were challenging — too little time, everyone’s a volunteer, the board’s history of indecision. But that wasn’t all.
The story I tell myself is that I had the upper hand; I held the power. I did the work ‘as a favor’; I was deemed an ‘expert’. The board offered gratitude and paired it with deference. If you get something for ‘free’, you bow your head and gratefully receive it. You’d be impolite to complain, object, ask for changes. I felt liberated to take risks, improvise, adopt an emergent approach, and the board disengaged, not even asking for process clarification.
In the end, I felt deflated. Would I rather have power instead of not have power? Sure. Would I rather have agency to do the project the way it feels would be most impactful, without fear that the client would be mad or want their money back? Absolutely. But would I want that at the expense of the client’s active engagement and participation? No! Despite my presumed ‘power’, the project didn’t go ‘my way’ because it lacked co-creation.
Consultancy work feels like sitting on a see-saw, but always on the lighter side — feeling unstable, as if I could fly off at any moment because the person at the other end (the client) carries more weight. Well, this time the roles seemed to be reversed — I felt heavier, I possessed greater leverage. Well, being heavier weighs you down. When power is unbalanced, one party flies off the see-saw and we are all the worse.
How do you balance the see-saw, with both consultant and client feeling light, but not so light that they fear flying off? How do you share the power of (co) creation, engagement, participation? And how do you do it with money involved?
Zarko strives to activate the potential of human systems — a small team, an organization, or a community — by unlocking individual and collective learning and transformation.
